Channel 23

This little gem is taken from No Greater Joy - Volume 1:

The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want anything else. It maketh me to lie down on the sofa. It leadeth me away from the Scripture. It destroys my soul. It leadeth me in the paths of sex and violence for the sponsor's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will enjoy the evil, for blood and sex they excite me. Its cable and remote, they comfort me. It prepares a commercial before me in the presence of my children. It anoints my head with humanism. My coveting runneth over. Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow my family all the days of our lives, and we shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.